Childhood Trauma — How is it Affecting Your Business?

Childhood Trauma — How is it Affecting Your Business?

Happy Cinco De Mayo

Happy Cinco De Mayo!   In celebration of our sister women entrepreneurs around the world making a difference!

Make it a wonderful day!
Hugs!

Gwen

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          If you could just get out of your own emotional way,

you are your own worst enemy.

One day, about 14 years ago, sitting in my therapist’s office continuing to search desperately for answers… why did I feel so bad about myself and  how could I stop emotionally beating myself up!  Then she said something  that caught me off-guard “well, yes you are a victim of child abuse…” and went about describing the homework she was asking me to do for the following week as if this “child abuse thing” was common knowledge.Beach Balls -2

WAIT I stopped hearing her!

I instantly felt disconnected, “ME??  Child abuse?  Naaa….” Then I felt the reaction in my body. It gripped my gut and I instantly felt fear, the need to back pedal everything I’d told her up to this point. I felt like I HAD to protect my mom. She was my mom after all!  That terrified little child inside felt that if I didn’t protect my mom, I would get in big trouble and get hit with the wooden paddle again.

The more it sank in… child abuse??…. really?… Is that really what that was? All this time I thought there was something wrong with ME, “I” had been doing something wrong. “I” wasn’t good enough. “I” was the bad little girl. That’s what my mom always implied. I thought she had been right about all those things she had growled at me for when she was angry, and hitting me with the wooden paddle, the shaming comments “you’re just crying to get attention” or the angry wagging finger in my face “you SHOULD be ashamed of yourself!”

Child abuse? This couldn’t be child abuse, could it? It wasn’t THAT bad. I wasn’t getting hit… well, sometimes. It wasn’t sexual… well, then there was THAT time… It WAS pretty emotional!  The doubts and confusions were swirling in my head like the scary things flying past the window in the storm scene of the Wizard of Oz… even though I knew somewhere deep inside she was right.

Childhood Trauma –What is it Really?

According to Dr. Robert Scaer MD, trauma specialist, a trauma can be anytime we’ve felt helpless, powerless or overwhelmed or when our safety or the safety of someone we loved was threatened.

The following are some common events that may cause childhood traumas:

• Parents divorcing when you’re young
• Financial struggles in the family
• Serious illness or death of a parent, grandparent or sibling
• Being adopted
• Being born with a birth trauma or defect
• Having problems at school
• Abandonment issues
• Sexual, physical or emotional abuse (even mild)
• Sibling issues (birth order, rivalry, teasing or competition)
• Living with alcoholic, drug addicted or depressed parents
• Growing up with emotionally distant or absent parents
• Living with parents or caregivers who were critical, controlling or demanding

From the perspective of a small child these events and experiences can be terrifying, traumatizing and life altering.

I call them emotional beach balls.

When we are busy trying to subconsciously “stuff” and hold down all those old painful memories and emotions from childhood such as fear, shame, guilt, sadness, feeling unworthy and unloved, etc. it’s like trying to hold a beach ball under the water.  It keeps trying to pop back up again.  The more emotional beach balls we are trying to hold down, the more they drain our energy.

Then we grow up and decide to start a business… we want to help others, while we desperately keep trying to hold down our own invisible beach balls.  Many of us as women entrepreneurs who are passionate about making a difference in the world have experienced some type of trauma or wound in our own lives (often in childhood) or have witnessed something ugly in the world, not necessarily to us but to other people that we cared about, and it made us want to do something about it. Many of us have read every self help book and spent hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars in talk therapy only to be disappointed and continue to struggle and feel stuck.

As successful entrepreneur Ali Brown says, “There’s no better personal development tool than starting your own business.”  Starting your own business is often a perfect environment to bring up all of those personal beach balls to deal with or as I like to say, gives us an “opportunity” to heal those childhood trauma’s.

The Good News:

• What if we could let the air out of those beach balls safely, relatively quickly and often permanently?

• What if we didn’t have to go back and slosh through all the gory details re-traumatizing ourselves all over again?

• What if we could take the physical “sting” out of the memories and experience them from a different, more manageable perspective?

• What if we could begin to live our lives through the lens of strength, confidence and empowerment vs helplessness and overwhelm?

• How might that change our day-to-day lives, in our relationships and our businesses, now and in the future?

Now with the help of EFT Tapping I am able to help you to let go of the leftover childhood fears, traumas and debilitating limiting beliefs that are keeping you stuck today.

As an Advanced Level EFT Practitioner and Inner Child Advocate, I am extremely passionate about helping other women entrepreneurs like yourself advocate on behalf of that scared little child inside who has been running YOUR business and dealing with YOUR finances. 

Let’s help HER to clear the inner emotional blocks and obstacles that are keeping HER stuck such as:

  • fear of failure,
  • fear of rejection,
  • fear of putting herself out there,
  • fear of looking foolish or
  • being less than perfect
  • and even fear of success

…allowing YOU to make THE difference YOU are here to make and live Your Strongest Life.

The world needs you!

Are YOU really ready to get out of your own emotional way?  I invite you to email me at gwen@yourstrongestlife.com to schedule your complimentary 30 minute chat.  Your inner child will thank you. She doesn’t have to do this all alone anymore!

Hugs!

Gwen

PS  I’d love to hear your thoughts below… let’s get a conversation going.  My experience with Emotional Freedom coaching is that we are more alike than different and that MOST of us have had some childhood trauma’s that are holding us back as women entrepreneurs today, even if many of them are invisible and stored in our subconscious. (The number one question I get asked when women are considering if YSL is a good match for them or not is, “What if I don’t know what to tap on?”  Exactly!  Most people don’t.  That’s the beauty of EFT, you don’t have to!  As we calm you body down, and it feels safe, it does all the work for you!  As your tour guide, I just ask the right questions!)

We just think we are the only ones that feel messed up, and that everyone else has their act together.  Well, I assure you, that is not true!  I KNOW I’m a work in progress and it’s wonderful to have a tool like EFT on our side!

PSS   I invite you to join us for the FREE Third Thursday Teleseminar on Thursday May 21st at 10:30am Pacific / 1:30pm Eastern.  The topic:  Q & A about EFT:  What have you always wanted to know about EFT but were afraid to ask?

Simply click HERE NOW to register.   I look forward to having you on the call!

 

Tapping and Venting and Shifting the Energy…

Tapping and Venting and Shifting the Energy…

Friends:  We got on the call and my client, Molly (not her real name) startedVenting to complain about her parents, who live in Europe, and that her mom is sick and how her Dad, sister and brother are handling or not handling it.  As she vented for a bit I remembered to have her start tapping while she was venting.  Using tapping while venting is one of the simplest ways to reduce stress and tension and a wonderful tool because you are releasing pent up negative energy while doing what you would do with a best girlfriend.

After about 10 minutes of tapping and venting she started to get a bit clearer.  She told me that her Dad had told her to back off, “you’re being mean to your mother,” but she thought she was being really good.

I sensed this was a good time to dig a bit deeper…   I asked her how she was feeling when she said that.  She responded, “in the beginning I was the mediator and I listened to mom, and  I felt like I was being a really good daughter.  Then when they started to kind of attack my sister, then I got in defending mode and thought they don’t need to talk that way to her!”

My mom is sickly and I get worried because when I call I don’t get any response.  I got pissed off at her and want to tell her a thing or two. When she did answer the she was feeling so poorly that I thought I can’t say anything right now.  All I’ve gotta do is be compassionate. So then I didn’t call for three days.  I’m not gonna call them.  I can’t stand listening to the crap anymore.  My dad finally realized that she was about to die so he called an ambulance in the middle of the night and they called me at 3am.  She had a blood transfusion, it’s bad!  Of course I’m worried.  they are like two damn kids fighting… Do I have to keep taking care of those two for the rest of my life?

I asked if they are different now or have they always acted like little kids?  Well, they’ve never communicated well.   I reminded her to keep tapping…  “I’m continuing to tap, or I would have never come to the conclusion that I’m sick of taking care of them!”  (laughter).

They have always complained about each other and they don’t do it to each other, they do it to us kids.  Part of me feels like the good girl for listening and being so damn nice.  The other part of me feels like I just want to scream at them. Why don’t they just grow up and take care of themselves and sort it out by themselves?!

But if I think that about my parents…that makes me feel like I’m not being the good girl or taking care of them the way I should be and that makes me feel…UGGHH!  I’m starting to feel all kinds of things… uncomfortable.

“This feeling…”  “This feeling…”   “This feeling, I don’t like this feeling…”

I think it’s a little bit of fear because if I speak my mind she might die. Then I would feel like I would be the cause that she died.  So no wonder I can’t speak my mind.  No wonder I have to hold these feelings inside or stuff these feelings.  (YAWN!  Yawning is a good sign, a release of blocked energy)

I don’t’ want to be the black sheep and the one that always gets yelled at and made to be the problem in the family because… they’ll send me away.

That would make me feel very, very abandoned and lonely.  No wonder I feel this way.  That reminds me of the time when I was a little girl and (YAWN) and they sent me away… I was only 2, 3, or 4 years old.

They sent me to my aunts and uncles because they were so tired of me (tears).  I was just a little girl.  They were so tired of me because I caused so much drama when I didn’t get attention.  I needed some attention.  I was just a little girl and I got punished for needing attention.  But I did some pretty mean things (in a very serious tone) like when I…  (laughter) got on the kitchen table and took the bottle of  water and threw it on the floor… (laughter)

WOW! THAT was a really mean thing to do when I was 3 years old!  It was REALLY mean!! No other 3 year old EVER did anything like THAT!!  (laughter)  No wonder I got sent away…  WAIT!  I got sent away for THAT?!

But it wasn’t only that I did a lot of mean things…

Tell me more and keep tapping…

I don’t know all the stuff they just told me all the stuff I did.  I don’t remember it.  They told me ALL of the mean stuff I did.  SIGH.  It always made me feel like I was the cause of mom and dad fighting and talking crap to each other.

(Serious…) No wonder I feel like this when they’re talking crap to each other NOW!  Because I always thought it was my fault. They always said I did mean things I thought it was my fault.  I was just a little girl and I did regular little girl things.  (laughter)  …and they said I was mean because no other little girls did those things.

I wonder if that was true?

I wonder if they were just saying that.  Maybe it WAS true.   Maybe it WASN’T (YAWN).   Maybe they were just saying that to make me mind.   Maybe they needed a parenting class…   Going in between being really serious and laughter:  “They didn’t just maybe — they fucking needed a parenting class!!!”  (laughter)  “They needed some parenting classes and some marriage counseling — how to communicate!!”

But I took it all personal (laughter) cuz I thought it was about me. They handed all this junk down to me and they still do!  I was just a little girl back then I didn’t know I could say no.  (Big YAWN)

I can say NO now!  I can say “Grow Up!” in my tapping session and “get a life of your own!” (laughter)  Go to a parenting class!!  Got to marriage counseling!!

I’m Fucking sick of this!!  I’m fucking sick of all this crap!!  I just want to release it and let it go!  I chose to release it and let it go.

Cuz it was MY job and I did a really great job of it!   But I’m fucking sick of it now!  (laughter) No wonder I moved to the states to get away from that crap!

WOW!  It feels so much better to just bitch about this while I’m tapping!  So I can just release this and let it go. It’s not serving me at all anymore (YAWN)  I chose to keep myself safe and just release this shit and let it go!

What a relief!

She said, “Good grief!” as she blew her nose.

I explained to her that I take YAWNING as such a high compliment during tapping.  She said, “Yes I could feel it shift like I was getting in my own power.”   [I’ve done this before with my Matrix practitioner but I never really cleared it.  You are much more “there” and I connect much more with you to release it.  I really want to thank you for that!  I really appreciate it!  I never felt safe enough to do that with him.  I know I changed a few words but you’re right there and you know the right things to say.  That same memory is what keeps coming up. That same memory wouldn’t keep coming up if it were completely cleared.  The memory that I was sent away.]

Finger Tapping – Talking to Little Molly

Go to a point in your life where you felt especially strong, confident and secure, you felt really good about yourself.  She thought about earlier that day, she has a lot of land and she was looking out over her property. It’s beautiful!  She called it “The View.”

Then I asked her to go back to the very first ,memory she got sent away when she was a little girl.  Where did your mind just go when I asked you that?  The memory that keeps pushing through is when I’m standing in my Aunts hallway with my bag and they have left me there.  I was only about 3.  It feels terrible!  I feel it in my gut/ belly button an intensity of about an 8 or 9+.

Walk into your Aunt’s house where little Molly is standing in the hallway.  Everyone else is frozen.  What does little Molly want you to do?  She sat down and put little Molly in her her lap and gave her a big hug.  What do you want to tell her about that experience?

You are not the problem.  You’re mom is very, very worn out and it’s not your fault.  I know you feel like it’s your fault but it’s not.  She’s not doing well, and she doesn’t have a support system but that is not your fault!  She is just not able to take care of you kids on her own right now and she feels that you will be better taken care of at your Aunties place, because she loves you not because she wants to get rid of you.  She wants you to be taken care of.

You know that all of your Aunt’s love you and they are so caring and take care of you and you know you actually like it here.  I know you felt like you were being sent away and you were afraid that they wouldn’t come back and get you, but they will.  I bet that made you feel scared.  In fact, I know exactly how you feel because I’m your adult self.

Don’t be so shy.  Go ask your Aunt for advice when your older cousins are teasing you, go tell your Aunt.  If they are being a little tough on you and you are having a hard time standing up for yourself.  They are just doing it because they are kids and they like you.  So don’t get so upset.  At home you are an absolute hellraiser so be a little hellraiser here at Auntie’s too!  Just tell those older cousins to shove it!

She started laughing and said, “She really likes it when I say that!”  I asked her why and she said, “she liked it when I told her to be a little hellraiser because that makes her feel so much more powerful than being the shy girl and being scared.

She was taught not to be a hellraiser.  She had to behave all the time and she’s afraid of being a hellraiser at Auntie’s house.  She’s really great at being a hellraiser!  A hellraiser isn’t mean, a hellraiser is just having fun and stirring things up a little bit which she thinks is needed.

We are really glad that you turned out to be a hellraiser.  I’m always here for you. I didn’t know how much you needed me and I know you felt alone but I’m here now.

Maybe I’ll take you to see the view…  Ohhhhh ya!  Ohhh that was a good one!  I know you felt like you were sent away but really it might have meant that you were giving mom a little time to rest and you weren’t the one to blame — a gift for you.  You weren’t getting yelled at and blamed for things for awhile. You were able to go somewhere where people were nice and caring for you and you could recharge your batteries.

Ahhh… that’s what gave me the courage to go to Germany to move to America, to travel — the rest of the family never traveled. Damn right it gave her the courage to be the little hellraiser.  The traveling hellraiser!!

It’s a very good gift can you tell how …Ohhhh…this is beautiful  It’s great!  Hell, it taught her all kinds of things.   Taught her to take care of herself.  Look at you how much you’ve done — you were able to go away and stay with other people  a week at a time and you took care of yourself. You managed to do that and you were always very liked by your Aunties and cousins and Uncles still today.  You have the greatest bond with them all and they love you to death.

When we finished I asked her what her biggest Ah-Ha was:  I don’t think my parents sent me away because they loved me  (it doesn’t bother me now because it was such a gift.   It was meant to be.  They made more problems. It makes complete sense now what’s been going on the last 4-5 months, it’s not my crap!  I can support and help her but it has nothing to do with me. WHEW!  Very good!  Little Molly went off to play….

This is awesome Gwen!!

More Finger Tapping – Talking to her Parents

I had her go back to her Aunts house with her strong confident self.  She went out and sat down with her parents on the steps.  They are frozen, can’t talk back.  What do you want to say to them on behalf of little Molly?

I’m still kinda mad at them.  She started finger tapping….

Both of you guys gotta realize that you are not doing a very good job parenting and I still want to believe that you love all of your 3 children but for some reason you two are not doing a very good job.  Your frustration and tiredness are taking a toll on her mostly. She is trying her damn hardest to please you both and you two have to hug her and tell her once in awhile that even if you get mad that doesn’t mean that you don’t love her.  Sometimes I know you get tired and upset and you say things but you do love her.  Don’t tell her your adult problems (we are so tired of you) tell her this is her little adventure.  She isn’t old enough to know about all this stuff you are bitching about and can’t sort out.  Don’t tell her you’re sending her away because she is being bad!

She hasn’t been that bad. She gets frustrated because she doesn’t get enough attention and love so she does stuff.  Tell her instead “oh let’s go have an adventure.  Let’s go see your cousins for a week. Wouldn’t that be fun instead of telling her this is a punishment because that just makes her whole world upside down and shes afraid that she’s gonna be sent away for life.

I asked her how she was feeling and she said, “I’m feeling really good!”

We went back to the beginning when she was standing in her Aunt’s hallway and her parents were about to leave.  Little Molly felt it in her belly button a 8 or a 9+

What is it now?  I was gonna say 1 or 2 just because your supposed to say a number but there is nothing there (laughter).   It’s a ZERO!!  The image I got was her standing there with her little bag just waving at them, “See ya later guys…”  Her bag had travel stickers.

The Traveling Hellraiser!  (laughter!)

The next time you are overwhelmed with negative emotions, frustrated or angry try tapping and venting.  You’ll be surprised at how calm and relaxed you feel in a very short period of time!

I’d love to hear what you are thinking below or what happened if you’ve tried it for yourself!

If you’d like to do an INTRODUCTORY one hour tapping session via the phone from the comfort and privacy of your own home or office please email me at gwen@yourstrongestlife.com.   Only $75 ($125 Value).

Stress is expensive… Emotional Freedom is priceless!

Hugs!

Gwen

 

Clearing the Shame from that “Poor Me” Feeling…

Clearing the Shame from that “Poor Me” Feeling…

Friend:  Welcome to Your Strongest Life Emotional Freedom coaching!  I hope you are feeling some peace and true emotional freedom today, however,  if you are like most of us, you may be triggered by a thing or two that’s keeping you awake at night and from building the business and life you love — YOUR Strongest Life.  If so, the following tapping script may be helpful for you.

Have you ever gotten that “poor me” feeling in your gut, err… I mean, “some” people feel that way, right?  Maybe not YOU!  (Smile)  If you ever have, you may have felt  embarrassed to feel it like you would rather die than to admit you were feeling it… right?  You try to push it down like a beach ball under the water but it keeps popping back up.

Not too long ago I decided that I was tired of trying to wrangle this feeling of “poor me” to the ground and decided to face it head on with tapping once and for all.  I came up with some amazing insights.  My first HUGE insight was that our subconscious minds are very literal.  Sort of like the genie in the bottle, “Your wish is my command.”   So I started to notice when  I was feeling that “poor me” feeling was that my subconscious mind  feeling sorry for myself or did that pertain to my wallet?  Or both?  Or maybe I was feeling sorry for myself because I didn’t have as much money as I wanted to have in my wallet.  (Smile, who knows!)  The subconscious mind works in mysterious ways.   However, I know is that in the past I was sooo ashamed of feeling this way that I could NEVER have written it here for all of you to read!!!   I could BARELY admit I was feeling it to myself.   LOL!   Well, today, as you might be able to see, I’m not only writing it without a strong painful emotion attached to it, but I’m finding it humorous instead of deadly shaming!  Emotional freedom truly IS priceless!!

While I was sobbing and tapping for myself on this “poor me” feeling (yes, even Emotional Freedom coaches have these moments!)  I started to realize that maybe I’m not the only person on the planet who has ever felt this way. (Smile)  So I started to write it down. Below is my script.  Some of it may apply to you and some of it may not.  Feel free to change the specific language to fit your own situation.   I wish for you the relief that I’ve received from it.  (And I was amazed and delighted about the money making ideas for my business that popped into my head the next morning!)

Click HERE to watch the 3 minute How to Tap video to get started.

(Karate Chop)sad little girl

Even though sometimes I feel like a wounded little child.  Poor me.  I deeply and profoundly love and value myself and completely accept how I feel.

Even thought sometimes I feel like a hurt and wounded little child and can’t stop feeling sorry for myself.  I deeply and profoundly love and value myself and completely accept how I feel anyway.

Even though I hate feeling poor me and I try to fight it and make it go away.  I feel so ashamed when I feel this way and sometimes trying to fight it doesn’t work.  I deeply and profoundly love and value myself anyway and completely accept how I feel.

(Eyebrow)   Poor me!

(Side of Eye)  I can’t trust that any one is there for me

(Under Eye)  Poor me!

(Under Nose)  I feel abandoned, neglected and alone

(Chin)  Poor me!

(Collar Bone)  I feel so ashamed of myself for feeling this way

(Under Arm)  I must have done something really bad for me to feel this way

(Top of Head)   Poor me!

(Karate Chop)

Even though you told me I should be ashamed of myself (Mom) when you shook your finger at me when I was little, I really took it literally.  I deeply and profoundly love and value myself and completely accept how I feel.

Even though you probably said things to me that really hurt because you were just a grown up wounded child yourself. Those words and behaviors really wounded my soul.  I deeply and profoundly love and value myself and completely accept how I feel.

Even though sometimes I feel so emotionally beaten down it feels hard to get back up again.  Poor me.   I deeply and profoundly love and value myself and completely accept how I feel.

(Eyebrow)   Poor me!

(Side of Eye)  Part of me feels so wounded, helpless and overwhelmed

(Under Eye)  and the other part of me feels angry

(Under Nose) and that’s OK.  Poor me!

(Chin)  Even if some of that anger is pointed towards me

(Collar Bone) Sometimes I’m angry because it’s just not fair

(Under Arm)  Why couldn’t I have had a normal childhood like all the other kids?

(Top of Head)  Poor me!

 

(Eyebrow)   Sometimes I feel angry at you

(Side of Eye)  But I shouldn’t feel angry at you because you were my mom

(Under Eye)  I’m not supposed to be angry at my mom

(Under Nose)  But I was!

(Chin)  Sometimes I still am and you’ve been dead for years

(Collar Bone)  Sometimes I’m angry because you hurt me

(Under Arm)  Sometimes I wish I had a mom who treated me better

(Top of Head)  Poor me!

(Karate Chop)

Even though I’m exhausted from feeling these feelings or trying so hard not to.  I deeply and profoundly love and value myself and completely accept how I feel.

Even though I know you did the best that a wounded adult child could do I was also deeply wounded.  It’s had life damaging consequences for me.  No wonder I feel sorry for myself.  I deeply and profoundly love and value myself and completely accept how I feel.

Even though I feel so helpless, powerless and overwhelmed and so sorry for myself sometimes.  It’s just not fair.  I deeply and profoundly love and value myself anyway and completely accept how I feel.

(Eyebrow)   Poor me!

(Side of Eye)  It makes me feel so sad

(Under Eye)  Poor me.

(Under Nose)  I feel victimized and betrayed

(Chin)  Poor me.

(Collar Bone)  I feel so sad that you weren’t there for me when I needed you

(Under Arm) and I learned to put other peoples needs ahead of my own because of it

(Top of Head)  Poor me.  I’m a victim of this mess and it makes me feel so sleepy

(Karate Chop)

Even though I feel poor me and sorry for myself sometimes, that’s ok.  It’s safe to feel whatever I feel.  It’s just a feeling.  I deeply and profoundly love and value myself and completely accept how I feel.

Even though I feel sorry for myself sometimes, that’s ok.  I chose to feel safe.  I deeply and profoundly love and value myself and completely accept myself anyway.

Even though I sometimes still feel sorry for myself, that’s ok now.  It doesn’t seem so painful anymore.  I deeply and profoundly love and value myself and completely accept how I feel.

(Eyebrow)   Maybe I can just let it go.

(Side of Eye)  Maybe I can feel safe, even when I feel poor me.

(Under Eye)  Maybe I can release the shame.

(Under Nose)  Maybe I’m more normal that I thought.

(Chin)  Maybe poor me is just a feeling, along with all the other feelings I feel…good and not so good.

(Collar Bone)  Emotions are just energy-in-motion and I know that when I don’t let myself feel them, and process them, they just get stuck and that’s what causes me pain.

(Under Arm)  I choose to just feel and release that poor me feeling.

(Top of Head)  It is what it is and I’m ok.  What a relief!

Deep breath….

Did you feel any shift in your energy about the “poor me” feeling?  Did any thoughts pop up for you?

I invite you to write your thoughts and make comments below.  You never know how much your insights can help someone else who thinks they are the only ones feeling this type of hurt.  Thank you!

Warmly,

Gwen

PS:  If you are dealing with repeating negative emotions that are keeping you stuck from getting to the next level in your life.  Email me at gwen@yourstrongestlife.com to schedule your complimentary 30 minute chat.  Learn how Your Strongest Life Emotional Freedom coaching can help YOU feel the relief!

 =======================================

Upcoming NEW Program:

Burn Out Prevention for
Women Entrepreneurs

Did you know that 70-80% of all visits to the doctor are for
stress-related and stress-induced illnesses?

Burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress.  As the stress continues, you begin to lose the interest, motivation and passion that led you to become an entrepreneur in the first place.

Burnout reduces your productivity and saps your energy, leaving you feeling increasingly helpless, hopeless, cynical, and resentful. Eventually, you may feel like you have nothing more to give.

Are YOU ready to eliminate some stress?  

To learn more about joining a 6 week interactive workshop with 7 other women entrepreneurs email me at gwen@yourstrongestlife.com

 =======================================

 FREE Monthly Tapping Teleseminar

Thursday April 16th

Different topics every month /  Try it out for yourself!

  • 3rd Thursday of the Month tapping hands-1
  • 10:30am Pacific/ 1:30pm Eastern
  •  Volunteers chosen to tap
  • “Borrowing Benefits” for those who tap along
  • Experience RELIEF on the spot

Click HERE to register.

 =======================================

 

NEW:  Burn Out Prevention for Women Entrepreneurs

NEW: Burn Out Prevention for Women Entrepreneurs

NEW Program:

Burn Out Prevention for
Women Entrepreneurs

Did you know that 70-80% of all visits to the doctor are for
stress-related and stress-induced illnesses?

Burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress.  As the stress continues, you begin to lose the interest, motivation and passion that led you to become an entrepreneur in the first place.

Burnout reduces your productivity and saps your energy, leaving you feeling increasingly helpless, hopeless, cynical, and resentful. Eventually, you may feel like you have nothing more to give.

Are you ready to eliminate some stress?

What you’ll experience:
  • Small, intimate group of 8 Women Entrepreneurs
  • 6 Weekly 90 minute sessions plus personal work
  • Done via the phone from the comfort and privacy of your own home or office from anywhere in the world
  • Experience “Borrowing Benefits” (simply tapping along with someone else on their issues, can help you reduce the emotional intensity of your own issues).

What you’ll take away:

  • Learn how to do basic EFT Tapping for yourselves
  • Create a natural tapping mastermind group with 7 other women entrepreneurs
  • Experience less stress, more  energy and clarity
As a Woman Entrepreneur stress may be trying to tell you something. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Tapping has proven to be an amazingly effective tool in calming our stress response and helping our bodies relax and heal…Join Us:

SIX Phone Sessions
8 Women Entrepreneurs
Tuesdays 12:30 – 2:00pm Pacific /
3:30pm to 5:00pm Eastern

Starts:  April 14th
weekly through May 19th

ONLY $ 147

REGISTER HEREMust register by Friday April 10th at midnight Pacific time.  Simply send an email with BURN OUT PREVENTION in the subject line, and your name, phone number and email to tappingintoyourstrongestlife@gmail.com.   Remember, there is only room for 8 women so please respond NOW to get your spot!I’m excited to help you Tap Out the Stress and bring the passion and purpose back into your life and business!
Hugs!
Gwen
PS: Please share with your women entrepreneur friends  and colleagues who could benefit from this program….
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Lasting Results from EFT Tapping
3 months later…

*|FNAME|*   Last weeks blog post was titled “Overwhelm!  Financial, Physical and Emotional… “   Have you ever felt overwhelmed?  REALLY overwhelmed!  So the overwhelm felt like a tidal-wave?  531457_406806275999184_117560774923737_1656173_771364775_n_large

Overwhelm!  Financial, physical and emotional” that was what my client, JoAnn (not her real name) wrote on the questionnaire I sent her to prepare for our first session.  She was familiar with EFT and had been doing it for several years.   However, she was still stuck.   She said, “I feel like the scared, confused and isolated 5 year old that I was when my mother died and there was no support.”

Did you miss it?

If you missed last weeks post, click HERE to read it. 

I worked with JoAnn about 3 months ago.  After reading the blog post she wrote me a text message and I wanted to share it with you now.  Responses like JoAnn’s tells us that EFT tapping not only works but the results are lasting.

3 months later
“It is wonderful to feel freedom from that previously often-recurring memory. I am so curious about how your readers and your next clients’ will respond to you about their own abandoned-child experiences! 

I could feel the pain I was experiencing from back then –
just as someone would who is seeing a sad movie.

However, the memory hasn’t had any charge at all since then – it hasn’t recurred at all until I read the article . And,

in the 30 minutes or so since I read your article, I wasn’t “stuck”
on the feeling – at ALL.  That was a mammoth amount
of emotional and psychic energy that was freed up,

Gwen. Thank you so very, very much!

I am sooo passionate about this work!  I hear these types of comments all the time and it makes my heart sing every time!  People just don’t realize how simple and powerful EFT Tapping really is and how permanent it can be.

If you’ve experienced a trauma as a child and the emotional residue is still holding you back.  If you’ve tried talk therapy and it was either too painful to dredge up all those old memories (we don’t have to do that with EFT.  Ask about the Tearless Trauma Technique or the Movie technique) or you just didn’t feel like you got the results you were looking for, I invite you to:

  • be a fly on the wall and listen to some of the recorded teleseminars under the FREEBIE tab or
  • email me at gwen@yourstrongestlife.com for your COMPLIMENTARY 30 minute phone session.  

It seems crazy that something this simple to learn can be this quick and effective!!  But it is! 

Hugs!
Gwen

P. S.  Use the PAUSE button:  A client from this week, Vanessa (not her real name) who is also working on her feelings of overwhelm, told me that she was afraid to read last weeks blog post because of the title.  If you feel that way too, I have some good news.  Here is a quick tip to allow you to face something challenging by calming yourself down in bite sized pieces. 

If you read the headline and it triggers you push the imaginary PAUSE button.  What emotion did that trigger in you?  Start tapping

Set Up Statement on the karate chop point:  Even though that _____  made me feel _____.  I deeply and completely accept how I feel.

Reminder phrase while tapping around the remaining points:   This feeling.  This feeling.  This feeling.

Once you feel a bit calmer, then you can push the PLAY button and continue reading.   Read until it starts to trigger you again.  Push the PAUSE button and tap.  Once the intensity is calmer on that triggered feeling then you can push the PLAY button again. Then keep reading and pushing the PAUSE button when needed.  You’ll be surprised at how much easier anything is when you are processing and clearing out the “sting” as you go. 

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Overwhelm!  Financial, physical and emotional…

Overwhelm! Financial, physical and emotional…

Dear Friend:  Welcome to Your Strongest Life Emotional Freedom coaching.  Have you ever felt overwhelmed?  REALLY overwhelmed!  So the overwhelm felt like a tidal-wave?  If so, I think you’ll really enjoy this post…531457_406806275999184_117560774923737_1656173_771364775_n_large

Overwhelm!  Financial, physical and emotional” that was what my client, JoAnn (not her real name) wrote on the questionnaire I sent her to prepare for our first session.  She was familiar with EFT and had been doing it for several years.   However, she was still stuck.   She said, “I feel like the scared, confused and isolated 5 year old that I was when my mother died and there was no support.”

She told me she could feel it in her throat and upper chest.  It was hard to speak.  The fear that she might be stuck in this kind of situation and not be able to get out of it was a 9 in intensity (0= no emotional intensity and 10 = very high intensity).  I could feel it in her energy across the phone.

The following is the highlights of our session:

We started tapping:

  • Even though I feel all this fear in my body that I might be stuck in this kind of situation.  I deeply and profoundly love and value myself and completely accept how I feel.
  • Even though I feel overwhelmed that I might be stuck in this situation…
  • Even though I feel scared, confused and isolated… (tears)

It was hard for her to say, “I accept how I feel” so we shifted to:

  • It’s really hard to say I accept how I feel because it feels like a tidal-wave
  • I feel scared, confused and isolated like I did when I was 5 when my mother died and there was no support.  [Her voice got really soft and I could feel her energy and how hard it was for her to say it, like it was hard for her to breath.]

We kept tapping:

  • I was only 5 years old…
  • I was just a little girl…
  • I was so scared, confused and isolated…
  • I’m not 5 years old anymore, I have better tools now, I have better support now
  • It’s been terrifying… and it’s not serving me at all anymore…
  • I chose to release it and let it go now…  (Big sigh)

I asked her how she was doing with the overwhelm in her throat and upper chest now and she responded, “Well, I do feel relieved.”  It WAS a 9 and she said, “I was gonna say a 5 but I think it’s really a 7 now.”

I asked her to go back to the tidal-wave feeling…After a bit of discussion about how from a child’s perspective the world is a HUGE place.  So if we have emotional wounds from an early age and we get re-triggered with something scarey such as overwhelm we often FEEL it from the perspective of that small child.  That little 5 year old felt like she didn’t have anyone to turn to and didn’t have any support and the overwhelm actually feels, to that 5 year old inner child, like a tidal-wave!   She totally agreed.

What if we were to go back to the tidal wave feeling when her inner little girl felt really afraid with the help of tapping?  Before she didn’t have anyone to listen to her or support her.  What if we were to listen to her now so she could feel heard, safe and supported?  She liked that idea.

Inner Child Advocate tapping:

I chose to use my Inner Child Advocate tapping exercise with her.   It’s a bit different than traditional tapping because we use “finger tapping” (we tap with our dominant index finger on the right side of each fingernail of the non-dominant hand while we do the exercise).  The exercise begins by going back to a memory of a time when the client felt strong, confident, and supported.  She was able to recall clearly a moment in her adult life when she felt that way and called it, “conversations with Maggie.”

That’s the JoAnn that’s going to go back and talk with and take care of that scared little 5 year old.

With a sigh of relief she said, “Oh Gwen, that’s brilliant! That’s great!”  So we continued tapping…

I asked her to go to the place in her minds eye when her mom died.  What do you think was little JoAnn’s biggest fear from her 5 year old perspective?  The moment when she most felt scared, confused and isolated?

Conversation with her little inner child:

She immediately thought of “kneeling by her mother’s casket.”  She thought it was the “most beautiful house she had ever seen, so much fancier than the house we lived in.  My mother was laying in this fancy bed and she was never going to get out of it again.  It was scary that she was never gonna get up and hug me again.”

We went back to her strong, confident “conversations with Maggie” self.  I asked her to freeze everyone else in the funeral home and have her strong adult self walk in to talk with her scared little self. I asked her to do whatever her scared little JoAnn needed her to do in her minds eye… go to her, pick her up and hug her, sit next to her, take her someplace safe.. whatever little JoAnn wanted.

“She needs me to put my hands on her shoulders,” she said.  Then I asked her to talk to her from her  adult perspective.  I played the part of the tour guide so the following comments are a combination of JoAnn’s and some from me mostly reminding her to stay in her strong adult self.   We continued to do the finger tapping…  this is just the highlights of what she said:

  • You’ve been feeling all alone, scared and confused…
  • I didn’t know you needed me, but now I do…
  • I love you like crazy…
  • You are gonna be ok and I’m gonna keep you safe…
  • I’m gonna take care of you…
  •  I know just how afraid you are because I’m your adult self…the adult you, all grown up.
  • And now I can be here for you, you don’t have to feel so overwhelmed anymore…
  • You can feel calm and relaxed now, because I’m never gonna leave you.
  • I can come back and talk to you anytime, this is just the beginning of the conversation…  From now on, I’m always gonna be here for you…

She took a breath and said, “I like this!” and kept tapping and talking to her little girl self….

When she was finished we had the little JoAnn go off and play someplace safely.

Conversation with her Father:

We went back to her strong confident “conversations with Maggie” self memory to recharge.

Then I had her start finger tapping again and go back to the funeral home, only this time to talk with her father.   She went in and stood next to him… and the following is a snippet of what came flowing out on behalf of little JoAnn:

  • Do you understand what you are doing to her?
  • You are looking at little JoAnn as an escape…
  • You think that as long as she’s busy with her pretending games that everything is ok…
  • What is not ok is for you to assume that you know anything at all about that little girl…
  • You are using her as an escape from your own feelings about losing her mom…
  • Little JoAnn is not her mom, she is a completely different person and she needs a father who can comfort her…
  • She is not your wife!
  • Don’t tell her she is her mother all over again…
  • You need to see little JoAnn for who she is, her strengths, not because you want her to be a reincarnation of your wife.
  • You need to take care of little JoAnn like a dad not a needy person…
  • It’s ok for you to be needy but you need to go to adults to get your needs met…
  • You need to approach little JoAnn and be with her as a FATHER…
  • Do not go to little JoAnn looking for comfort, your job is to be the grownup!
  • When you aren’t being the dad then it makes her feel like she has to be the mother to you…
  • Little JoAnn can not be your mother!  She cannot be your wife!
  • It makes her feel used, invisible and that she has no identity — like a ghost!
  • Confused, isolated and scared because she has to do it all on her own.
  • That’s not right!  So you need to find some resources that will help you.
  • I’m letting you know this because you are a loving man, but right now you’re confused.
  • So take this to heart, if you love your little girl, your children, let them be who they are…
  • Do not escape into the bottle…
  • Do not abandon them by over drinking…
  • They will be orphans…  You do not want your kids to be orphans, do you?

When she was ready she said, “I’m feeling complete.  That was a really good exercise!

I asked her to go back to the beginning of the session to see how overwhelmed she was feeling now?   She said, “Hmmmm…. Ohhh, the number 2 came up but “I don’t feel overwhelmed at all now actually.  (little laugh)  I don’t feel overwhelmed at all.  This is a wonderful feeling!”

Her biggest Ah-Ha:

When I asked her what her biggest Ah-Ha was from doing this tapping exercise she said, “That strong and confident ‘conversation with Maggie’ self is accessible anytime!  Now I have the strength to get me through the challenges that I face, I can know my next step and take right action.  I can analyze with compassion and restore order (that phrase just came to me, she said as she giggled with delight.)

“That little girl inside of me doesn’t ever have to be alone, scared and overwhelmed again.  Wow! Thanks so much Gwen!!”

 

If you can relate to this story in anyway and you have a scared,  confused, isolated and overwhelmed inner child struggling.  If her fear is keeping you stuck from moving forward in your business and your life, and you’d like to help her heal so you can live Your Strongest Life, please send me an email at gwen@yourstrongestlife.com to schedule your one hour INTRO phone session.  Only $75 ($125 Value).

There’s nothing to lose.  If you don’t get some relief on the first call you can get your money back!

I invite you to write your thoughts and make comments below.  You never know how much your thoughts can help someone else who thinks they are the only ones feeling this type of hurt.  Thank you!

Warmly,

Gwen

 

 

 

The Same ol Pattern of Looking for the Positive to Avoid Being Disappointed…

The Same ol Pattern of Looking for the Positive to Avoid Being Disappointed…

Welcome to Your Strongest Life emotional freedom coaching.  Do you ever get disappointed?  If so, can you recognize the pattern?  Read below to see how Angela was able to take the “sting” out of her disappointment, sadness and anger and shift how she has always thought about them with her own fingertips.

Angela (not her real name) and I originally started working together because of the high stress and physical pain she had been feeling. She recently changed jobs and was knee deep in the middle of the learning curve of the new job, also a bit stressful.  As we started the session,  I asked how the new job was going, she said, “The job is good.  I’m finally done with the evaluation from my old job and it went “as expected not as hoped.  It was rough but I’m so glad to be done with it!”

heart-energyI caught a familiar pattern when she said, “as expected not as hoped.”

I said, ” from what you’ve told me that sounds like a really good description of your life.”   She laughed.

I asked her if that was accurate and she said “Yes.

“I didn’t want to put a lot into being hopeful and be disappointed by it,” she said and started to laugh… “It IS still there!”, she became conscious of what she was saying.  “You try to put yourself in the mindset of different things but the undertow is still there.”

She continued as if she were processing her thoughts as she talked, ” I’ve spent 35 years and that’s the way I’ve adjusted to things.   It’s still there…   I’ve always tried to look for the possitive to avoid being disappointed.”  She told me she has felt  Sadness her whole life, (we’ve gone back to childhood emotions in previous sessions) at first the sadness feeling was a 7 or an 8.

We started tapping…

  • Even though it feels really sad that I’ve had to look for the positive  to avoid the disappointment for most of my life
  • All this sadness… this little girl sadness…
  • Maybe I can release and let go of this undertow of sadness that’s still there

When we checked in with the sadness in her body she said, “It’s not even really there now.  It went from a 7 or an 8, down to a 4 or 5  and now it’s about a 1 or a 2.”

I asked her for her thoughts:  I felt it coming up and then it just, closing my eyes, thinking about it while we tapped and I watched it go away….

[NOTE:  That’s how emotions are suppose to react.  Emotions = energy in motion.  So if we allow ourselves to FEEL the emotion it goes though our bodies and leaves rather quickly.  Like the story of the 3 year old shopping with his parents.  Someone in the store gave him a helium balloon and he was OVER THE MOON excited about the balloon.  They tied it to his wrist and he kept trying to take it off.  In the car on the way home he managed to get it off his wrist so when they got home, opened the car door, it flew out and popped on a bush.  He threw himself against his daddy’s chest and sobbed uncontrollably…. for abo9ut a minute.  Then he noticed that his sister was bringing in groceries and off he went  to help, all better.  The emotion had processed and he was on to another thing.  That’s how quickly it takes to process most emotions if we were to process them immediately.  However, as a society we’ve been socialized to stuff them.]

When I asked her what had popped up while we were doing that tapping round she told me of the DREAD she used to feel every time she had to ask permission for something..    She remembered being 12 yrs old, asking to go to a friends house to stay the night. She said, “The conversation would go like this, Why do you think you need to do this? What are you going to do there?  50 questions… If we let you do this now, what will you have to look forward to next year?”

It took awhile for me to realize that this was gonna be the consistent pattern, she said.  I just got ANGRY and stopped asking to do anything.  She felt the anger in her chest, the dread /anger was about a 5 or a 6.

We tapped on the dread/ anger:

  • Even tho I always felt dread when I had to go through the jury to be able to go to someones house… 50 questions…
  • Even though I was only about 12 I was so angry that I felt helpless and just stopped asking to do anything…
  • I felt trapped… Helpless, angry and trapped….
  • From the perspective of a 12 year old girl…
  • Disappointed…

She started processing her thoughts out loud as we tapped:

No wonder I look for the positive to avoid being disappointed because  I was always disappointed especially that time I wanted to stay the night w my friend.  My parents needed to ask all those questions because… I just think they didn’t want me to do it so instead of saying no they put me through this…   Maybe my parents didn’t know how to say no so they put me through this whole thing so I would give up before they had to say no because they didn’t know how to say no….  it made me angry but I thought it was about me…  I ‘ve had to work so hard to adjust and look for the positive to avoid being disappointed simply because they didn’t know how to say no…

That makes me feel (laughter) slightly crazy.   This is crazy because I feel like they said no constantly but if I look at how they were with my sisters they never told them no and THAT ALWAYS made me feel angry!

You’re the oldest?, I asked.  Yes!, she responded.

We continued to tap…

  • I was the oldest and  I was the “test” child…
  • They didn’t know how to say no TO ME so they put me through all of the 50 questions, hoping that I would just give up…
  • But they never said no to my sisters and that really made me angry
    .
  • It wasn’t fair and I’m still suffering the consequences.
  • I’m not willing to suffer the consequences anymore.  That happened back when I was a kid I’m not a kid anymore.
  • I’m just gonna feel my anger about how I felt towards them and the anger about how I felt towards my sisters…and just let it go…
  • I think I’m just gonna be angry at them… (laughter…)

“YES Whenever they think they are not in control of the situation they tend to do the same thing today…”

We continued to tap…

  • Now I realize when they don’t feel in control that’s their pattern
  • I thought it was about me.
  • Turns out it might just be about them needing to be in control
  • So I chose to feel this anger and release it and let it go.
  • It’s not serving me at all anymore
  • It’s not even about me.
  • And surprisingly it never was.
  • What a relief!

We checked in with the pressure in her chest about feeling angry, helpless and trapped.  It was a 5 or a 6 and now…  “NOTHING!  It’s gone!”

When I asked her what thoughts popped up for her while she was tapping she said, “It was definitely about them and control and the older I got the less they felt like they had control of everything and the stricter they got and the more hoops I had to jump through for everything.  I KNOW it’s about them now but as a child the way they went about it always put it back on me.  At some point during those 50 questions there was going to be a response they don’t like.  They had a really gifted way of it always being left on me.   It was almost as if they’d have me talk myself through it and then I would realize it wasn’t a good idea.”   Laughter…

No wonder you learned to just shut down and be angry because  it was a survival technique as a kid. You felt helpless and feeling helpless is a trauma.

Her Ah-Ha from the call was:  The way that I consciously look for the positive to change my perspective and avoid disappointment is what I was trained to do as a little girl.  No wonder I just did that with my ex-boss.  I’m just doing it a little bit differently now [because you’re older and more mature, I chimed in]… laughter …but I’m still trying to avoid disappointment.

Now that we’ve tapped out the emotional “sting” and you are consciously aware of what’s happening you get to have a choice.  Up until now the painful emotion was driving you.

I invite you to share your thoughts below…

Are YOU repeating the same old subconscious patterns that are keeping you stuck, sad and angry? Please email me at gwen@yourstrongestlife.com for more information on how to do your own phone session from the comfort and privacy of your own home or office and begin to clear and heal your own emotional wounds from a core level and stop repeating the process.

Emotional freedom is priceless!

 

Hugs!

Gwen

 

Stress, Weight and Not Loving and Accepting Myself

Stress, Weight and Not Loving and Accepting Myself

Friends:  Welcome to mid March.  Depending on where you live, you may be experiencing the blossoming of spring like we are here in WA.  The days are getting longer and the sun is shining more.  For that, I feel a great amount of gratitude.  I also feel gratitude for my clients.  Most of which are very brave women dealing with stuff that isn’t so fun to deal with and most often they come away feeling much less stressed, calmer and much better about themselves.Walls

Laurie’s initial response to my question (not her real name), What are the 3 biggest challenges or obstacles that you would like some help on? was “Stress, Weight and Not Loving and Accepting Myself.”  Her comments touched my heart.  I knew I needed to share this with you because if I had a dollar for every women I’ve worked with who said that, or felt that way but couldn’t put it into words, I would be a very rich woman!

She also talked about how she would like to take her “walls” down and be able to let people in and close to her.  “I tend to keep people, including my husband, at arms distance.”

We talked about how extra weight IS a wall that we build, I happen to know this very intimately, to keep ourselves protected and safe from something.  And how the weight is just a symptom of the deeper issues.

When I asked her to repeat out loud, “I tend to have walls and keep people, including my husband, at arms distance” and asked her where she felt that in her body, she began to cry.  She gave the “it makes me wanna cry” a 5 or 6 in intensity.

We started to tap…

  • Even though I have these walls and I build them to protect myself and keep myself safe.
  • These walls…
  • I have these walls…
  • I have to have these walls in order to protect myself…

We checked in and had her repeat the sentence, “I tend to have walls and keep people, including my husband, at arms distance” and I asked her what she was feeling.  She said, “Right now I feel calm.  I don’t really have much intensity at all.  Not any emotion.  It’s only a zero or a 1.”

I asked her to tell me a bit about the walls and why she thought she needed them.

She said that “it might have something to do with being afraid that someone might leaveLike when my parents got divorced and I was a senior in High School.”  I didn’t even know that it really affected me until my last relationship before I got married. That one still haunts me today.”  (She started getting emotional)

She continued to tell me about it, “I broke up with somebody I really loved because I felt like I had to.”

Sick feeling in my stomach.  Makes me feel sick.  Brokenhearted.  About a 7 in intensity.

  • Even though it still haunts me, that first week after we broke up and I moved out
  • It’s been 17 years
  • I still feel that sick feeling in my stomach
  • I felt like I have to break up with him because he was irresponsible
  • I couldn’t be with someone who was irresponsible
  • Even though I loved him
  • It broke my heart but I had to do it
  • I bailed him out of everything
  • I just knew I couldn’t be with someone who was completely irresponsible

As we tapped we included the following phrase:

I am responsible.  Being with someone who is irresponsible reminds me of when I was young (what memory pops up?).  She responded, “I was responsible for taking care of my younger brothers and sisters.  I was the responsible one in my house.”

We checked in again and the intensity from the Sick feeling in her stomach.  The brokenhearted feeling that was a 7 in intensity. and she said, “Now I’m really calm.  I’d say a 1 or a zero.”

We talked a bit more about why she felt so strongly that she had to be with someone who was responsible.  She said, “I just always felt like I would be bailing him out for everything.  I wanted someone who would take care of me too.  I always felt like I would take care of him but he wouldn’t take care of me. That’s why it felt so appealing to date my husband because he’s very loyal and solid.”

So I asked her to tell me why her parents got divorced.

She started laughing…. “Oh my gosh!”

She continued, “My mom was irresponsible with money, that was the biggest deal they fought about money.  My mom didn’t really work and my dad made good money but he had 5 kids to support.”

I asked, “Oh, so your mom was irresponsible?”  She giggled and said, “Obviously I have a connection there with my mother deep down that I want to have a better life and a better relationship than what my parents had.”

I explained, that if your parents got divorced because your mom was irresponsible your subconscious mind was saying, hell no!  As much as your conscious mind loved him your subconscious mind was saying WARNING!  BAD NEWS!  Get away from him!  If he’s irresponsible we will get divorced and it will be really painful just like my parents.  Your body was doing exactly what it believed it needed to do to keep you safe.

I asked her what was coming up for her?

She responded, “I wish I could feel that way about my husband.  Sometimes I think I don’t love him enough like he deserves to be loved.  I don’t think I love him like he loves me.”

I asked her if she could feel that  in her body?  Tears…  “It’s painful.  I feel like he’s been cheated on for a long time”.  It’s sadness.   A 7 or an 8.

  • I wish I could feel that way about my husband…
  • All that sadness in my body….
  • It might happen again…
  • Maybe it’s not safe to life him that much…
  • No wonder I’ve put up walls… they are here to protect both of us…
  • Something deep inside is afraid…
  • All this sadness I’ve been carrying for 17 years…

We checked in on the feeling about the sadness she was feeling about the walls…  “I feel pretty calm.  I don’t really have any intensity right now at all.”

We went back to try to “poke” and “re-trigger” all the main things we tapped on and her response for all of them were, “calm.”  “It’s no longer a ball of energy or feelings that makes me want to start crying.  That feeling that I’ve been trying to suppress is gone.”

Her biggest Ah-Ha:  I didn’t realize the irresponsible thing , how it ran so deep between the three topics we talked about (and tapped on) today.  I’ve seen counselors for years who have probably connected those dots and told me that I was supposed to “just let it go.”  (She plans on doing some more sessions and working on her anger towards her mom’s “irresponsibility,” “laziness” and trying to “take the easy way out.”)

Follow Up:  In a follow up text a few weeks later she wrote, “Hey Gwen.  It’s weird & really hard to describe the difference since we tapped.  I’ve been calmer and happier, and feeling like being nicer to my husband (Ha Ha), so it must be working.”

Can you relate to Laurie’s story?  Are YOU ready to stop the struggle and be “calmer and happier” in your business or personal life?  I invite you to email me at gwen@yourstrongestlife.com for your complimentary 30 minute phone chat.  Let’s see if EFT will work for you too.

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FREE Monthly Tapping Teleseminar

Thursday March 19th

Different topics every month /  Try it out for yourself!

  • 3rd Thursday of the Month tapping hands-1
  • 10:30am Pacific/ 1:30pm Eastern
  •  Volunteers chosen to tap
  • “Borrowing Benefits” for those who tap along
  • Experience RELIEF on the spot

Click HERE to register.

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 Tapping…Everybody is doing it! 

EFT tapping pts and Mona Lisa  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

 

 

What’s REALLY Behind Your Anxiety of Debt? …and How to Calm It.

What’s REALLY Behind Your Anxiety of Debt? …and How to Calm It.

Financial Freedom next exitDear Friend:    Welcome.  I hope this blog post is finding you healthy and happy.  If not, tapping may be a good tool to help  you get there.

I worked with a client last week, let’s call her Jenny (not her real name).  She started the call talking about feeling anxious and overwhelmed about the things she has on her plate because of the anxiety she feels about her debt.  I thought that debt is something that most of us can relate to so I’d like to share.

Jenny is a professional woman in her late 50’s taking on an extra part time job to make ends meet.  During the training  for her new part time job she’ll be working 12 hour days and she’s afraid of how exhausted she’ll be.  As she talked more about it she mentioned that she can’t seem to have money AND time.  She said, “I’m scared for my health” and she got emotional.   She said she could feel it in her chest.  It was an 8 in intensity (0 = no emotional charge and a 10 =an extremely high emotional charge).

We started tapping at whatever feeling made her emotional… (the following is the highlights of what we tapped on)

  • Even though I have so much debt and it makes me feel powerless…
  • Even though I’ve created this situation myself…
  • I feel completely regretful because of the bad choices I’ve made…

We kept tapping and unpacking her emotions….

  • I’ve always made bad choices:
  • Even though it was a bad choice to leave my relationship, there was a lot of financial security there…
  • I guess I have to be miserable in order to have financial security
  • That’s the way it’s gone ever since I went back to school
  • I’ve been so unhappy ever since I acquired all of this debt
  • The biggest reason is because I chose to make a career change
  • Another bad choice

As we continued to tap I asked her what that feeling in her body about making bad choices reminded her of… and she immediately responded:

  • Getting pregnant at 15  was a bad choice.
  • I have to punish myself for the rest of my life
  • I have to keep punishing myself until I die.

We tapped a bit on her feelings about the unwanted pregnancy…..

  • I’m open to the possibility that maybe 15 year olds make bad choices, that’s why they have parents to guide them to make better choices.
  • But I didn’t have parents that could do that for me
  • So I’m beating myself up because no one was there to teach me.
  • I choose to release it and let it go now it’s not serving me at all anymore
  • I’ve punished my 15 year old self enough
  • I chose to give her a break
  • I chose to forgive her…
  • She was only 15.   She did the best she could under the circumstances

We stopped tapping to check in.  When she repeated out loud that she made bad choices the intensity level had gone up from an 8 to a 9, (I recognized that we tried to tap into the positive too soon) so we kept tapping.

  • Even though it got higher, I have all these regrets that I’ve been going over and over in my head for so long now
  • I can’t love and value myself because I’m so angry at myself I deeply and profoundly accept how I feel
  • I’m so angry at myself because I’ve made so many serious errors in judgement
  • I never deserve to be forgiven because what I’ve done is soo bad, it’s in the same category as abandonment.

We followed the thread and kept tapping…

  • I abandoned my child (gave it up for adoption) just like my parents abandoned me.
  • and for that there’s no forgiveness
  • Part of me can never forgive my parents for not guiding me appropriately
  • Part of me is so angry at my parents but I’m not supposed to be because they are my parents.  So I have to be angry at myself.

When we stopped to check in on the feeling in her chest, it was a 9 before, I asked what is it now?

  • The abandonment feeling was a 10… so we kept tapping…
  • Even though I feel abandoned.  My dad left me too young.  He died when I was only 35…
  • This abandonment feeling…
  • He abandoned me and that reminded me of a time when I was young..

A fuzzy memory came to her.  She started telling me about a time, “When we were supposed to go to a father daughter dinner at my school.  I think he didn’t show up.”

We kept tapping…

  • Even though I felt abandoned by my dad
  • I love and value myself and accept how I feel
  • He didn’t show up for the dinner
  • I was only 7
  • I deeply and profoundly accept how I feel
  • I was just a little girl
  • He didn’t show up
  • I thought it must mean that I didn’t matter
  • My dad didn’t show up for me and I thought it meant I didn’t matter.  I was only 7.
  • I’ve been feeling that feeling in my chest ever since that day
  • I’ve been repeating that pattern…
  • No wonder I’ve made all those bad choices.
  • I made those bad choices from a wounded 7 year olds perspective.  That feeling that I don’t matter isn’t serving me at all anymore.
  • My dad didn’t show up probably not because I didn’t matter but because he was an alcoholic and he had a disease that was more important than anything to him, including me.
  • I chose to forgive myself for believing that I didn’t matter because I did the best I could with the tools I had when I was just a 7 year old little girl.
  • I’m all grown up now so I chose to release that pain and let it go, what a relief.

She took a deep breath and slowly and thoughtfully said, “The intensity is now only about a 5.  It could even be a 4.”  [Sometimes we are able to find the specific thing to tap on relatively quickly and also bring the intensity down quickly.  Other times we have to keep tapping while doing some detective work, going through the layers, until we hit the specific emotion that is holding us hostage.  Once that happens we can feel relief pretty quickly, many times instantly.]

She continued speaking as the awareness was coming to her, “It feels less constricting in my chest.  Less of a heartache type thing.  When the feelings were escalating, oh my god, it was such a heartache over all of this!  It’s feeling like forgiveness of my dad now — just knowing he was an alcoholic.  Now it’s really more about the disease than it is about me How I see and feel it now is that my dad didn’t really have very much control over HIS choices.  I think the disease had such a hold on him that he just didn’t have a lot of control over those choices.

The intensity came down quite a bit so she was able to see things from a completely different perspective.  More from her adult self rather than her wounded little 7 year old self who, because of her fathers alcoholic behavior,  thought she didn’t matter.

She gave the remaining 4 or 5 in intensity the label of sadness.  We tapped some more on her sadness…

  • Even though I learned to be angry and make bad choices because that’s what I saw my parents do so of course that’s what I too!
  • I wanted desperately to matter just like all little children do.
  • All this sadness….
  • I deeply and profoundly love and value myself anyway and completely accept how I feel.
  • All this sadness in my body…
  • These are my parents beliefs and behaviors, they aren’t serving me at all anymore…

The session was about over  and we had been able to make quite a bit of progress in only one hour.

Her biggest Ah-Ha:  “About the role my father played in all of this.  We’ve focused a lot on my mom in past sessions and how my mom made me feel but I haven’t spent that much time thinking about what I learned from my dad through all of this… a lot of it is about choices I’ve made that I’ve felt really pulled to do because I was hoping to have an inner need fulfilled.  Things were done to me — from that 7 year old little girls perspective– and I thought I had the choice to do something different, and I just chose to make bad choices,  but maybe I didn’t.”

This is a good example of how EFT works when we have a lot of emotions stacked on top of one another (which most of us do) and they “daisy chain” together.  We tap one aspect or layer at a time and then they all start collapsing.  We went from debt, to bad choices, to regret, to being angry at herself, feelings of abandonment, and feeling like she didn’t matter and finally sadness.  There is probably more to tap on, however, we simply start where we are and systematicallyunpackthestingattached to every emotion allowing for some permanent relief.

If you are carrying extra emotional baggage about debt or anything else, and it’s keeping you stuck from living Your Strongest Life there may be a way to calm your fears and quiet that critical self talk that is keeping you beating yourself up so badly.  I invite you to email me at gwen@yourstrongestlife.com NOW for your complimentary 30 minute chat to see if we are a good fit to work together and so you can get some emotional relief!

Keep tapping!

Hugs!

Gwen

PS   Check out the Your Strongest Life FREE Monthly Teleseminar below:

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Are You Still Suffering yet the Accident was Years Ago?

Are You Still Suffering yet the Accident was Years Ago?

There is still time….   ONLY TWO days left to SAVE 20% on a Your Strongest Life Introductory phone session or Tapping into Your Strongest Life 6 session package in honor of the Tapping World Summit.  Email me today at gwen@yourstrongestlife.com to register.
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Are You Still Suffering yet
the Accident was Years Ago?

My new client contacted me to say that she’d had a car accident, basically a fender bender and the doctors diagnosed her with traumatic brain injury.  She has been dizzy and disoriented for 16 months straight.  She told me that she had taken medications, done physical therapy and cognitive training with no results and that this was greatly impacting her life and she “had to get out of this world.”

During her first session we:

Cleared the “pressure and tingling frustration with myself” and anger in her chest and stomach about the accident.   Took it from an 11 (on a scale from 0-10) down to a zero.  She said that she felt relaxed and didn’t feel it in her stomach anymore.

She had a burning pain in her right scapula and after the tapping she reported “It’s not there now!  It feels like I’ve been dumping a little junk out of me.”

Then when we tapped on the accident itself and she felt anger again.  It was a 4.5 in intensity in her upper stomach.  She said that she’d never hit anyone before and she felt helpless and had a nauseous feeling in her stomach.  She wanted to “fix it and make it better.”   She felt lost, disabled and sad.  The intensity went down to a 2.   (She reported before we started tapping that she had been nauseous for 90 days after the accident).

At the end of the session I asked her what her biggest Ah-Ha was and she answered:   “I’m so surprised that this showed some signs of success in only one hour.  It’s been a tough couple days and this morning.  Lots of anxiety –   NONE now!!   I’m just tired.

A week later, session #2  at the beginning of the session she reported that she was having a “very mildly dizzy day.  That’s two in a row with very, very diminished disorientation.  I haven’t hesitated to do anything.  This is a vast improvement over the last seven months. I’ve felt like I’ve been on a wild carnival ride that doesn’t ever go away.  Been at a 10 most of the last 7 months.  I may cancel my PT with the dizzy therapist because I want to see how this works out. 🙂   I’m encouraged!”

We “unpacked” and lessened the emotional charge on several things including:

  • Her extreme anger that “somebody took my vision away from me.   I had good vision before.  I’m now legally blind.”
  • The pressure and tightness she felt in her head regarding not being able to read a street sign.  She felt like an “idiot” because she missed a turn once and someone was following her.  She was extremely embarrassed.
  • As we continued to tap she became consciously aware for the first time that the dizziness and disorientation was causing everything to be “in slow motion” and that didn’t feel like HER!  “All my life…  I’ve been a busy bee.  I just don’t work in slow motion.”  She felt “LOST” in her heart.  An intensity of  5.  After the tapping that feeling went down to a zero.
  • That lost feeling in her heart reminded her of being 5 years old and having to go stay with her grandma when her parents got a divorce.  She felt sadness and unwanted.

Ah-Ha:  “The realization that I’m giving too much attention to what I can’t do and not focusing on what I can do. “

The next day she wrote me the following email:

“I just had to tell you.   I left the house today, went to Penney’s and shopped the entire first floor.  Usually very, very disorientating for me and I buy way too much.  I did fairly well and didn’t get overly overwhelmed.  Left there and went to Costco which really overwhelms me, but it didn’t and I was in and out very quickly.  Then would normally go home exhausted and overwhelmed BUT I went to the grocery store, did another errand, got gas and went home.  This is HUGE for me.   I can never do five errands in one day.  Hard to believe but so true.  And, normally I have to do these things as early in the morning as I can get ready but today I had to wait for something and didn’t leave until 1:30!  What an eye opener!”

The following week, session #3, she reportedThe past 7 days I’ve hardly been dizzy at all.

She told me how upsetting it had been that after the accident she developed a habit of biting her lip and it’s been “HORRENDOUS!  I HATE IT SO MUCH!  I’m so embarrassed to be around people and my job is being around people.”  She told me that she saw a neuro-psychologist last March or April and he told her that it was “nervous tension and it will go away.”  As she talked about it she could feel the intensity in her neck and shoulders, a 6 in intensity.  As we tapped that went down to a 3 and as she felt calmer about that several other memories popped up including:

  • The memory of an assault a decade ago which caused a heavy weight in the center of her chest.  She had been hit in the ear with the butt of a knife and lost the hearing in that ear.
  • The frustration and anger about losing her hearing after the assault
  • Panic attacks that she experienced for many years prior to all of that.
  • And all the anger she felt about losing so much time in her life for all of these issues.

As we continued to tap and “unpack” all the emotional trauma that has been stored in her body for years and removed the emotional charge that went with it, she felt calmer and calmer.  Her ah-ha after the 3rd session was that she was realizing that the anger and fear she was feeling, that she thought was coming from the car accident, started even before she was hit in the ear and lost her hearing a decade ago…

I absolutely LOVE what I do!  And I absolutely LOVE EFT Tapping!  She’s been suffering for a year and a half and she’s experienced all of this freedom in just 3 short weeks — I’m so excited for her!   I can’t wait to see what we can clear next week!

Have you, or someone you know and love, been suffering needlessly with a physical symptom after an accident that may have emotional components to it and you are/ they are ready to get to the heart of it and clear it once and for all?

If you are interested in testing it out for yourself please email me NOW at gwen@yourstrongestlife.com to register for your Introductory one hour phone session.  Get some relief on your first session or get your money back!  

Stress is expensive…  Emotional Freedom is priceless!   

Hugs!

Gwen

PS  I’d love to hear your feedback below!!

PSS:  Have you, or someone you know and love, been suffering needlessly with a physical symptom after an accident and you are / they are ready to get to the heart of it and clear it once and for all?

If you are interested please email me NOW at gwen@yourstrongestlife.com to register for your introductory one hour phone session with the Tapping World Summit 20% Discount(Special good ONLY till Thurs March 4th!)  Get some relief on your first session or get your money back!   What have you got to lose except your suffering!?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

FREE Monthly Tapping Teleseminar

Try it out for yourself!

  • 3rd Thursday of the Month tapping hands-1
  • 10:30am Pacific/ 1:30pm Eastern
  •  Volunteers chosen to tap
  • “Borrowing Benefits” for those who tap along
  • Experience RELIEF on the spot

Click HERE to register.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Do You Ever Get Your Buttons Pushed?

Do You Ever Get Your Buttons Pushed?

FYI:  The 7th annual Tapping World Summit FREE online event started yesterday.  It’s not to late to sign up.  Plus get a 20% discount with Your Strongest Life.  See more at the bottom of the page…

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“Look at who or what is pushing your buttons. Everything external is internal. This means that if something outside of yourself is bothering you, for example, someone else’s behavior, then you have that within you as well. If you didn’t, there would be no emotional charge to it.”                           ~ Tiny Buddha

Hot buttonHave you ever been going about your day, basically minding your own business, and all of a sudden someone does or says something and all of a sudden, instantly out of what seems to be nowhere you feel a RUSH of intensity, a BLAST of emotion?  WHOOSH, emotional intensity through your whole body!! It might be anger.  Maybe it’s tears.  Maybe it’s tears because you feel angry.  Perhaps you feel hurt, or sad, or misunderstood.  Or maybe you feel stupid, inadequate or unloved.  You can’t seem to control it!  Your heart pounds, your muscles tense….you react.  It’s almost as if someone or something else has taken over your mind and body.   You’ve gotten your buttons pushed!

It can be very distracting and often all consuming.

Have you ever noticed that it tends to be the same few things, the same similar scenarios that trigger you every time?

  • Someone says ___________________ (fill in the blank)
  • Someone does ___________________ (fill in the blank)
  • It instantly makes you feel  ______________ (fill in the blank)

These moments often happen at the most inopportune times; in the middle of an important meeting, a wedding, a funeral, a big presentation, a holiday dinner, or when something you feel passionately about is happening,  The rush of energy and emotions rarely come at a “good time.”

Where do those “buttons” come from and what can you do about it?

Most times they seem to be invisible and pop up out of nowhere like a rake in the face!  However, those buttons can be very predictable.  They are often from past emotional wounds or traumas, small or large, buried deep in your body, your subconscious mind.  Typically you are not even consciously aware of what they are and where they are coming from.  However, when someone accidentally brushes up against one of them (or sometimes in the case of siblings or other relatives people push our buttons on purpose to get the same ol familiar auto-pilot reaction.

Sometimes it’s small and just a little annoying, yet other times it begins to cause upset and disruption in our daily lives, causing issues with our relationships, keeping us awake at night and preventing us from living our strongest lives.

If this is happening to you or someone you know, Emotional Freedom Technique or Tapping is an amazing tool for finding and healing those raw wounds and neutralizing them, taking the sting away, often permanently.

EFT is not talk therapy.  We DO NOT need to talk through the issues in detail re-traumatizing the original wounds…  we simply find where we are holding them in our bodies (tension in our heads, a lump in our throat, pressure in our chests, sick feeling in our stomachs, tension and tightness in our neck and shoulders are some of the most common places we hold these “buttons”)  Many of my clients have confirmed that what my EFT instructor told us, “One hour of EFT equals 100 hours of talk therapy” is true.

No worries if you can’t find those buttons yourself, that’s what I’m here for, to be your tour guide and help you to find those buttons and reduce the emotional charge as quickly and gently as possible.

Please email me at gwen@yourstrongestlife.com for your complimentary 30 minute phone session to see if this is something that could help YOU!

Hugs!

Gwen

PS  Remember, the 7th annual Tapping World Summit starts Mon Feb 23rd.  A FREE 10 day online event sponsored by Nick Ortner and The Tapping Solution.  Over 1,000,000 people, including me, have participated over the past 6 years!  Listen for 24 hours for free or buy the recordings.  It’s not too late to sign up.   It’s a way to safely dip your toe in the tapping water…

SPECIAL BONUS…

PLUS, if you are a women entrepreneur and you’d like a SPECIAL BONUS, tapping with myself and Your Strongest Life Emotional Freedom coaching…  During the 10 days of the Summit only you will receive a 20% DISCOUNT on the following phone packages.  Simply email me at gwen@yourstrongestlife.com to sign up:

  •  NEWBIES:  One hour introductory phone session  (SAVE $15)
  • WANT TO GO DEEPER?  6 Weeks to Tapping into Your Stress-Free Life    (SAVE $150)

Limited space available so please e-mail me TODAY at gwen@yourstrongestlife.com to save your spot!  I look forward to helping you gain some  emotional freedom for yourself!!    Happy Tapping!