You’ve also answered the 10 questions and gotten your own ACE score. You may have started to connect the dots as to why you may be struggling with some of the emotional or physical issues that you are and where they may have started.
There may be some early emotional traumas or wounds at the heart of it and it’s been subconscious and you aren’t even consciously aware of it. And hopefully you’ve gotten a bit of information about how it may NOT be the life sentence that we once thought it was and there is hope.
However, what if you can’t relate to these extreme childhood experiences that were listed on the ACE questionnaire?
--What if you did not experience a parent swearing at you, insulting you, putting you down or humiliating you before the age of 18?
--What if you weren’t afraid that you may have be physically hurt?
--What if you weren’t grabbed, slapped or hit or watched your mom be?
--What if you were never fondled or touched in an inappropriate sexual way?
--What if you always had enough to eat, clean clothes to wear and someone to protect you? --What if …you always felt loved, special and important …your parents didn’t drink or take drugs ...you never felt abandoned through divorce or other reasons (physically or emotionally) and you never experienced stress or depression from your parents
Remember, traumas aren’t always as extreme as we might think. According to Dr. Robert Scaer MD, trauma specialist, trauma, especially as a small child under the age of 7 or 8, can be anything that makes them feel helpless, powerless or overwhelmed, or that their own safety or the safety of someone they love is in jeopardy.
When I first learned this I thought to myself, I wonder if there is anyone in the entire world who didn’t feel those feelings at one time or another as a small child? I don’t believe there are.
The questions in the ACE study tend to blend between big “T” traumas ((highly identifiable and catastrophic events, including severe physical abuse, rape, extreme injury, witnessing violence, or an unexpected death of a relative or friend. Vivid and explicit memories usually, but not always, surround this type of trauma.
And little “t” traumas, (chronic and insidious experiences that are less about one identifiable event and more about reoccurring painful situations or experiences. This can include ongoing criticism, neglect from parents or caregivers, being bullied or teased, or living with an alcoholic, drug addicted family member or someone with a medical or mental illness. The ongoing nature and the more “acceptable” aspect of this type of trauma often makes it more difficult to identify and treat).
However, the more EFT Tapping I do for myself and my clients, especially the Inner Child Advocacy work, the more clearly I can see how little “t” or chronic traumas can have a huge impact on us and our daily lives. The simplest look, comment, or emotional experience from our parents, older siblings, older relatives or other authority figures such as teachers, coaches, religious leaders, etc. can be devastating to a small child and that child can carry those subconscious “wounds” in their bodies for the rest of their lives.
Those are the buttons that get pushed and INSTANTLY the emotional intensity seems to come from nowhere and flood our bodies. People say to me all the time, that happened so long ago, what could it possibly have to do with what I’m doing today? Well, actually those wounds from our childhood have EVERYTHING to do with our adult perceptions and behaviors and they tend to subconsciously color and control our adult careers, relationships, financial life as well as our emotional and physical health.
Dr. Bruce Lipton PhD cellular biologist and author of The Biology of Belief calls them “childhood programs”. As the ACE study tells us, “a whopping two thirds of the 17,000 people in the ACE Study had an ACE score of at least one — 87 % of those had more than one.” It’s much more common than we ever realized. We are truly all in this together!
If you’ve tried talk therapy and still feel like there is something not quite right you may be still carrying some of those invisible small t trauma’s in your body. What if you could get some relief with EFT? How might that positively impact your life?
PS Being STUCK in your emotional past is expensive… Emotional Freedom is priceless!